Writer’s block again? Yeap, no muses, no elegant words coming to my head, just the emergency room, band-aid writing is up for a visit. That is what happen when you don’t have a plan, when you think that just by sitting in front of the computer, ideas will come together and the perfect slice will be born. Instead, ideas are swirling on my head, traveling through my veins and muscles and eventually arriving to the tip of my index fingers (I never learned to typewrite), and emerging on the white screen like a mush.
I feel sorry for my welcome wagon commentators who faithfully visit my blog every day and endure reading it. Sometimes it’s hard to write for a captive audience that probably is banging their heads while they read. I guess, I got tired of thinking of what the rest of the world is going to like, or how many comments I will get today, or how many countries my blog will reach. I really don’t care. I write because I like challenges, because it stretches my mind, and force me to think in new ways. It’s also humbling; maybe not very good for my self-esteem when I see how beautiful other people write, knowing that I will never get to that level, at least in English. I write because is ingrained in my skeleton, it’s a need. Just to scribble a couple of ideas, feeling, thoughts. I am thinking seriously on hiring a translator.
If I, as a grown-up feels this way, I am wondering how a kid whose language is not English might feel. This challenge have made me think about my own kids when we arrived in Spain almost ten years ago. They were 11 and 13 and it was exciting but hard. However, only by doing this challenge I realized how intense was the hard part. They were asked not only to speak, but to write in Spanish
Not for one class or one hour, but for eight hours five days a week. No wonder my daughter told me one day that she wanted to go to the States for college. Speaking in Spanish makes me feel stupid. Those were her words. They stung, they still sting.